In one of my favorite news items of all time, it was announced earlier today that the EU Trademark Authority has approved the name “Fucking Hell” for beer and clothing for a company in Germany.

How did this happen? Well, for once this time, the answer is found in Fucking. The Austrian village of Fucking (pronounced Foo-King, real place) has been referenced in the paperwork ok’d by the EU TA. In a beautiful twist of fate, the word “Hell” is a German word used to describe a light ale. Thus, Fucking Hell Beer is born.

Interestingly, there is no Fucking brewery and no plans to build one that the village has seen.  Needless to say, this has some Fucking Austrians confused, while others are simply taking it in stride.

Fucking Background:

Despite the spotlight in recent years, Fucking has its problems. Apparently the town’s signs have been repeatedly stolen which has become such an issue that the town had the opportunity to change its name to prevent shenanigans with town property. Fortunately, the townspeople (all 100 of them) did not agree with this Fucking Off initiative, and thus we are all blessed with aforementioned foul-mouthed products.

Alt+Wine will be tracking this closely. Don’t you worry.

This topic was discovered via the urban outfitters blog, and Spiegel Online International.

Well, readers, here it is. The Twilight New Moon Wine Package. For only $139.95 you can have it all and the infamous V will deliver it for free.

I have to say, I was a bit disappointed in the write-up, as the last one was FAR more romantic. 

Not many people know about all the clones used in winemaking. While it would certainly be an interesting ethical dilemma if I was talking about HUMAN clones, I’m not. I’m talking about grapes. FRUIT CLONES, PEOPLE.

When (ok, let’s be honest, IF) you hear someone talking about grape clones again, just know this: grape clones are cuttings from an existing vine that share identical genetic information.

In this way, you can look at grapes like dogs (bear with me). Dogs are all one species - so are most winegrapes (vitis vinifera). Then there are breeds of dogs, like German Shepherd Dogs - and there are varieties of grapes, like Pinot Noir. Now, imagine if you cloned a German Shepherd named Bruce - you would have an exact copy of Bruce’s likes and dislikes, his behavior, his proclivity to chew your shoes, the scratching-spot on his belly that makes him thump his leg, you get the idea. If you had the ability to raise Bruce’s clone (we’ll call him Bruce II) in the exact same environment as Bruce, they would be exactly the same. Now, there’s no way you could produce exactly the same environment for Bruce II - it’s impossible - but you can try. And because it’s Bruce II, you will have a pretty good idea of how he’ll react to things.

It works the same with grapes. Grape clones have the same “behavior” as their original genetic bretheren - they respond well to the same weather conditions, soil make-up, are susceptible to the same pests, have similar flavor profiles, etc. However, just as it’s impossible to create an environment that is exactly the same for Bruce and Bruce II, it’s just as difficult to do so when growing grapes.

So with clones, you you have a general idea of how they will react and an understanding of what they CAN be, but there is almost no way to make them truly identical to the original (as anyone who has seen THE ISLAND and lived to tell the tale could tell you).