January 2012
1 post
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November 2011
4 posts
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October 2011
3 posts
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July 2011
2 posts
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June 2011
8 posts
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“These are fresh, casual wines that are ideal for warm weather. We like them...”
– -Franck Duboeuf of Les Vins Georges Duboeuf (so yes, THAT Duboeuf) on how the French enjoy Beaujolais.
This is mainly for my friends who think I’m crazy for popping bottles of Beaujolais in the fridge. (We’re talking Beaujolais, here, not Beaujolais Nouveau - there’s a...
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Not A Professional Drinker
Via My Life Behind Bars, Exploits of a Professional Hot-Ass Bartender in LA
Last Tuesday, a 47 year-old lady walks into a bar...
47 Year-Old Lady: Can I get a Buttery Nipple shot?
Me: Nope. Sorry.
47 Year-Old Lady: Really? Why?
Me: Cause it's not Spring Break 1996.
47 Year-Old Lady: You know what? You're right.
Me: I know.
47 Year-Old Lady: I guess I should start "drinking my age."
Me: That's entirely up to you.
47 Year-Old Lady: Do you guys have any of that Yellowtail Shiraz? I love that shit.
Me (In my head): Of course you do. Also, nice Hello Kitty wallet you crazy bitch.
Me (Not in my head): No, but Albertson's probably has it on special.
47 Year-Old Lady: Cool. Thanks.
...and with that, she left a $5 tip and was on her way to Albertson's, I presume. Or, Spring Break 1996.
May 2011
3 posts
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January 2011
2 posts
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December 2010
4 posts
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Maybe The Best Article On Wine Ever Written... →
My favorite wine article ever, entitled “Wine Companies Have Some Wine That You Broke Dumb Kids Will Love.”
Incredibly proud as it is totally based on an article in which I was interviewed and quoted (talking about how wine companies don’t understand young drinkers). Apparently I dodged the Gawker bullet.
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November 2010
2 posts
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Wine For The Apathetic: Terroir
The first post in a series intended for people who don’t really care about all this.
TERROIR: a french word meaning “of the land” commonly used to describe a sense of place in a wine.
You’ve heard the word before: terroir. Or maybe you haven’t. Who cares? It’s a term commonly bandied about by the douchefolk that introduce themselves as “wine...
October 2010
1 post
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The Infamous V. Returns! Vampire Wine Halloween...
Despite a protracted publishing break, the Alt+Wine love for the infamous Vampire V. at WickedWinesOnline.com is eternal so we’re back to recount his latest exploits.
He’s gone a little merch-heavy on this one, including only 3 bottles of his second favorite beverage. However he is including a bunch of branded glasses, stickers, and my personal favorite: VAMPIRE DELIVERY. All this for...
March 2010
13 posts
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EU Approves "Fucking Hell" Beer, Fucking Austria...
In one of my favorite news items of all time, it was announced earlier today that the EU Trademark Authority has approved the name “Fucking Hell” for beer and clothing for a company in Germany.
How did this happen? Well, for once this time, the answer is found in Fucking. The Austrian village of Fucking (pronounced Foo-King, real place) has been referenced in the paperwork ok’d...
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Twilight New Moon Wine Package: Wicked Wines...
Well, readers, here it is. The Twilight New Moon Wine Package. For only $139.95 you can have it all and the infamous V will deliver it for free.
I have to say, I was a bit disappointed in the write-up, as the last one was FAR more romantic.
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ATTACK OF THE (fruit) CLONES!
Not many people know about all the clones used in winemaking. While it would certainly be an interesting ethical dilemma if I was talking about HUMAN clones, I’m not. I’m talking about grapes. FRUIT CLONES, PEOPLE.
When (ok, let’s be honest, IF) you hear someone talking about grape clones again, just know this: grape clones are cuttings from an existing vine that share...
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February 2010
16 posts
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