Alt+Wine

Via My Life Behind Bars, Exploits of a Professional Hot-Ass Bartender in LA

Last Tuesday, a 47 year-old lady walks into a bar...

47 Year-Old Lady:  Can I get a Buttery Nipple shot?

Me:  Nope. Sorry.

47 Year-Old Lady:  Really? Why?

Me:  Cause it's not Spring Break 1996.

47 Year-Old Lady:  You know what? You're right.

Me:  I know.

47 Year-Old Lady:  I guess I should start "drinking my age."

Me:  That's entirely up to you.

47 Year-Old Lady:  Do you guys have any of that Yellowtail Shiraz? I love that shit.

Me (In my head):  Of course you do. Also, nice Hello Kitty wallet you crazy bitch.

Me (Not in my head):  No, but Albertson's probably has it on special.

47 Year-Old Lady:  Cool. Thanks.

...and with that, she left a $5 tip and was on her way to Albertson's, I presume. Or, Spring Break 1996.